Bon Voyage
Though they were standing right in front of me, it felt like I was watching from miles away. If life were a movie, this was the part where the music softly falls into a decrescendo. The sun gently sets and fades to black. As I walked back to my car, wind clasped my face, and the credits began to roll.
In this story, I wasn’t the damsel in distress. I had long since sworn off locked towers, burning buildings, and heroic rescues. I wasn’t the girl who rode off with him into the sunset. When I saw him with her, hand in hand and laughter caught up in their cheeks, I had to let go. If he was happy, then somewhere in the shadows of my pain, I could be happy for him too. I’m not sure how it happened. It felt like the inevitable closing of a book. My feelings settled in my stomach like unspoken poetry.
Reality unraveled before my eyes. I held it with trembling hands. In the past, I knew I was his girl next door. I knew that he would choose me in a crowded room again and again and I wanted to choose him too. There were so many days I wanted to unmask my heart. However, I couldn’t risk my own journey to join his. We couldn’t rip ourselves apart to be something we weren’t. I can’t go anywhere that I don’t have God’s grace carrying me like wind beneath a sailboat. We walked different paths, and it was no one’s fault that they didn’t cross.
Maybe someday they will, but I can’t live for someday and neither can you. Maybe you aren’t the girl he comes home to. Maybe he only returned your glass slipper because he’s a nice guy, not because he’s your Prince Charming. Maybe the girl of your dreams is dreaming of someone else. The idea of a perfect person and a perfect love story is purely fiction. Sometimes you hold onto a moment longer than you should because you’re afraid you’ll never have it again. It’s time to let go. I had to accept that I may never get the chance to express the way I feel about him. It was a risk I was finally willing to take to move forward.
No matter what happens or doesn’t happen, the beat of life goes on. For anyone who feels left behind, your story doesn’t end here. We can’t keep holding our breath, waiting for someone who may not be right for us or a moment that may never come. I know it hurts, and I see you. I need you to know that broken hearts still heal. To be in love takes bravery and courage but so does walking away. What feels like a loss today is an investment in your tomorrow. Never forget that the end of one story is still the beginning of another one. The space in between is where you have fully trust God.
Take a breath. Say goodbye. Start again. Though the past may be familiar and comforting, be determined to move forward, step by step. Each step in the right direction matters. There is beauty in letting go and having hope that God has good plans for you. May flowers grow in all the places you’ve cried.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
